Sparking joy, but making it fashion: Marie Kondo-ing my lewks, darlings!
Or: You'll love everything you wear if you only have things to wear that you love
The clothes pictured above do not spark joy in me. Some of the pieces maybe used to when I bought them, maybe for a season or two, and maybe only for the first time I wore them. I’ll be honest that some of them were never loved, bought out of necessity of needing a white shirt or another pair of jeans, or because they came in a Stitch Fix or Trunk Club box and they seemed cute at the time. Or maybe it was 2 a.m. during a pandemic, I was desperate to touch something new beyond my bunker and my credit card was handy, and by the time the Amazon truck pulled up a few days later I was like “Did I order this? I guess I did. I should probably wear it.”
For however long those things were part of my wardrobe, either in my regular rotation or in the “Girl, I forgot I owned this” section, they are no longer. They are being released to a local donation center, where they will hopefully make someone else as happy or even happier than they made me. And it’s not because they aren’t in style anymore or because they don’t fit (although I ain’t gonna lie- the zipper has been easier on one or two of them. We’re about honesty here.)
I just took the Marie Kondo philosophy to my closet. You may think that the Japanese organizing consultant It’s because the other night, when I was on a brief vacation, I wore an outfit that I loved. I mean, I loved every single piece of cloth on my body, from the bra to the jaunty scarf. And the next day in the hotel, I pulled out another outfit, more casual but equally loved, and peeped the outfit for the next day, and realized I loved it, too, because when I go away I only pack super-cute stuff that I love, the best stuff that says “Hey, City I Don’t Live In! This Is My Highlight Reel!” Even my pajamas were “Hey, room service is here and I don’t feel the need to throw on a robe” quality. Some of it was FASHION and some was just great jeans and a new flowy top out of a Sade video. But it was all stuff that I loved wearing, that looked great on me, that I knew would get compliments.
And then I thought: Shouldn’t I always be my own highlight real? Don’t I want to feel this way all the time? Don’t I want to be excited every time I get dressed? Yes. Yes.
So how do I do that? The answer was simple - To love everything I wear, every day, for whatever occasion, I can only have things in my closet that I love. And that goes from my public book reading lewks to my brunchwear to my “Walking my kid to school before taking a run” tees and running leggings. I should look cute everywhere I go, because I’m cute. Every time I leave my house, I should feel good. And not just because someone might recognize me - although there is that - but because I SHOULD RECOGNIZE ME. If I gotta wear a sweatshirt to take out the trash, I should love that sweatshirt. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It just should add to me and my thing.
I am not going to go out and start replacing everything I got rid of because I didn’t need most of it. I worked with an amazing stylist named Afya Evans this summer, and although we did some amazing work on my best colors and all that, her best advice was this - If you don’t love it, why do you have it? I have yet to apply that to everything in my house, because I have too much stuff. But I’ve started with my clothes that I wear in and outside of the house.
And this is my promise to you, dear reader, and to myself- I will never again spend money on a Target tee or purse just because it was there and it seemed cute at the time. I will never again just point and click on a website because I saw someone on TV wearing something like it in the middle of an insomnia jag and I wanted to feel something. If I need a black cami under a new dress, it’s gonna be a cami I love. I’m gonna love my running shoes. I’m gonna love it all.
Because I love me. And I should look like I do.
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Sparking joy, but making it fashion: Marie Kondo-ing my lewks, darlings!
This is FABULOUS!