Just my opinion because it's my newsletter: THE BEST HOLIDAY SONGS OF MY LIFETIME
One of the things about criticism, especially music criticism, is that it’s completely subjective. Big Criticism (Ha!) doesn’t want you to know that, because its worth as a creative medium and as an industry has relied, at least pre-Internet and blogs, on readers assuming that the writers know what they’re talking about - and in some ways that they know better than them. That they have better taste. That they have some special expertise that makes their opinion more important. And while, yes, all of the music writers I’ve ever met, myself included, are big ol’ nerds who know way too much about the things they love, that’s the problem - they love what they love, know what they know and dislike what they dislike.
But sometimes rather than being honest about how their wants, interests and knowledge color their reviews and opinions, some of the critics I grew up reading - many or most of whom were White dudes with limited interest in genres outside of previously acknowledged critical norms, like, say, classic rock - dismissed anything they didn’t dig, elevated the things they did like as canon and put their stamp on it as The Official Opinion Forever And Ever Amen. And the fact that there was only one general type of person with a widespread platform making those lists meant that no one else’s opinion got to count.
Those days are, thankfully, gone, as there are so many more diverse opinions out there in publications, on the internet and podcasts. And many of those opinion makers are also now more likely to admit that their calls are influenced by their subjectivity, from everything from where they grew up and grew up listening to, their age, culture and background and even what the album cover looked like.
All of this is to say that those clickbait “100 Best Songs Ever Recorded By Humans” or “If You Like These 20 Songs You Suck And Your Grandmother Is, Frankly, Ashamed” lists aren’t official or definitive of anything other than the tastes of the person writing them, or how much they know the list is gonna piss you off and get clicks.
So you’re hearing it upfront: This list of the My Favorite Holiday Songs Released in My Lifetime, which is exactly 50 years (I love symmetry) is just my list. It’s OK if you don’t agree with me. You get to not to, and to make your own list. The only rules I gave myself are that they be original songs released between 1971-2021, so there are no remakes or carols on here (sorry, Whitney’s “Do You Hear What I Hear” or Mariah’s or U2’s “(Christmas) Baby Please Come Home”. I still love you, though.)
Also, I would have put “This Christmas” by Donny Hathaway in the number one spot, but it came out in 1970, the year before I was born, and honestly I’m still mad about it. I must also mention that I could not, in good conscience, include BandAid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas” in a list of my current favorites. It blew my mind at 13 and would have been at or near the top of the list until about 5 years ago when I really began to understand the well-meaning but colonialist message of the song. (To wit: The song was about raising money for Ethiopian famine victims, which is amazing. But the lyrics paint an amazingly broad, stereotypical and simplistic view of an entire continent that I didn’t see in 8th grade. Africa is not a country. There will be snow in parts of Africa this Christmastime. Plenty of things grow, and rain and rivers flow.) I will always love a lot of the artists on the tune and think about how cool it was to have an industry unite around saving lives. But the song has changed for me. That happens.
Enough explanation and whatnot. Here’s my list. I stand by it. But it’s just mine. Hope you like it!
“Hey Santa!” Carnie and Wendy Wilson (1993): Ever since Darlene Love sang about missing her special guy under the mistletoe, pop singers have been repeating the theme (Mariah’s the queen of this, obviously). But this one, by two-thirds of Wilson Phillips, reminds me so much of singing with my sister in the car, practicing our harmonies and pretending we were in a music video waiting for Chynna Phillips to show up. Which we did more than you can imagine.
9. “Christmas Wrapping,” The Waitresses (1981): Ironic, sardonic, yearning and cool. I don’t know anyone who never imagined “that guy I’ve been chasing all year” wasn’t actually ghosting you but was unable to get in touch with you through a series of hijinks you can laugh about over the world’s smallest turkey. (This was actually believable pre-cell phone) Timeless.
8. “The Chanukah Song,” Adam Sandler (1994): I don’t know if you know, if you weren’t around in 1994, how risky it was to mention O.J. Simpson in a comedy bit, but Sandler’s clever, pointed reminder that the former football star, soon to be on trial for double murder, was not someone he wanted to be associated with, and “not a Jew,” was bold. And shocking. And funny. I love that a non-Christmas song has become such a part of the traditional rotation. And my husband, who was a Jew and loved this song and wanted Adam Sandler to play him in a movie one day, would be so glad I included it.
7. “Who Would Imagine A King?” Whitney Houston (1996): “The Preacher’s Wife” soundtrack was on heavy rotation in my parents’ house in the 90s and 2000s, mostly because my Daddy loved Whitney so much (he took my sister and I to see her in 1985 in Baltimore for her first tour, and we were all pretty much in love with her from then on.) The movie is now a part of my own family holiday screening list, and this song, a wistful, gorgeous gospel song with a children’s choir that’s gonna make you weep, is my favorite. Whitney and my Daddy both left us in 2012. I miss them both so much.
“Christmas In Hollis,” Run-DMC (1987): Do you remember how much rap was played on pop radio in the 80s? Unless it was by Debbie Harry or the Fat Boyz, or woven into an Aerosmith song, very little. This is because radio was very segregated and sometimes hella racist, to the point where some stations proudly trumpeted “And no rap!” in their commercials and went as far as editing out the rap features on pop songs so their delicate listeners wouldn’t have to be confronted with the Black people and their dangerous word musics. But this classic, clever and homey and sentimental, was part of a massive charity holiday album (“A Very Special Christmas” to benefit Special Olympics) and was undeniable. It was everywhere, and it was so special. I love progress.
5. “Celebrate Me Home,” Kenny Loggins (1977): For most of my adulthood, I was the child furthest away physically from the rest of my family. And whenever we got together, I would play this song, no matter where we were, because home is where your family is. And now that I’ve moved back to where I grew up, it means so much more, especially since so many of the people I used to celebrate with aren’t here to celebrate with me anymore, so I must do it for them. “I’m finally here, but I’m bound to roam, come on, celebrate me home.” Stop making me cry, Kenny.
4. “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” Mariah Carey (1994): The champion. The legend. The queen. The diva of them all. It’s not at the top of my list, but you gotta give Mimi her crown. It’s also “my song” with my sister-in-law Melissa and we sing it really loud and embarrass her husband, which I live for.
3. River, Joni Mitchell (1971): The holidays can be cheerful, and also be a time of abject gloom and mourning. It’s cold for most of us. It’s dark at 4 PM and you feel like a mole trying to feel happy in all the twinkly lights when you want to just curl into your hole and nap until April. It’s especially hard when you’re grieving, or you miss someone, like Joni and her guy. Holidays are a special kind of heartache, and we feel you, ma’am.
2. “Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You,” Billy Squier (1983): Another 80s history lesson. There was this thing called MTV that showed music videos and changed the musical, fashion and culture landscape. The people who introduced the videos were called VJs - think of them as reality stars of a sort - and sometimes there were behind-the-scenes glimpses into what a cool, chummy, kinda lovingly shabby place the MTV studios seemed like. They had these holiday videos where they all palled around and looked happy, and this is my favorite. It’s Christmastime, Jake.
1. “Last Christmas,” Wham! (1984): Remember I talked about how our tastes change? I used to make such fun of this song, because it seemed so simple, because the video was so goofy and because it’s fun to make fun of things. Also I heard it too stinking much. What a difference several decades and a sense of getting over myself makes! It’s so sweet and heartfelt, and the hair in the video is glorious. Also, I miss George Michael very much. Also also, it inspired this. So you gotta love it.